“You don’t change the oil in your own car?” a guy once asked me in a judgmental, “Hey, can you believe this guy?” kind of way.
“No,” I answered with a shrug. “I’m not a mechanic. I have to pay someone to do that kind of stuff.”
He seemed confused, as if changing my car’s bedpan had something to do with being a man.
Now, if I were going to point to skills that made someone a man, I might have replied:
“What? You don’t build your own surveillance devices or explosive booby traps?”·
“You don’t know how to hit a head-sized moving target from 800 yards?”.
“You don’t know how to build a complete sniper weapons system? Seriously? Or rig a helo for sniper operations?”
But I wasn’t interested in getting into a pissing match. Plus, I don’t believe any of those things have anything to do with being a man.
DIY Is Killing Us
These “DIY” skill sets that men think make them men—changing the car oil, edging the lawn, buffing the cars—are actually chewing them up.
Instead of getting a 12-mile run in on a Saturday, they’re in the yard working as a gardener or a pool guy.
Rather than spending a Sunday afternoon diving, climbing, hiking, or building a relationship with their kids, they’re moonlighting as unpaid car washers.
It’s no wonder so many of these guys are too busy, are not making enough money, are out of shape, and have relationships in the crapper.
Who's Rules Are We Living By?
Most men's definition of manhood is based on magazine subscriptions, television commercials, and trips to the hardware store. They have been duped into thinking that being a man is something you DO rather than ARE.
As you’ll read in the Habits of Heroes ebook, we talk about the importance of creating your own definition of “manhood” and the need to free ourselves from the herd mindset.
It’s time for us to take the reins of our life back from the magazine writers and the commercial directors and the social media trolls. It’s time to redefine and reclaim manhood.